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Have you ever wondered where unhappiness comes from? Have you ever wondered why it’s so hard to do the things that we know make us healthier and happier? To exercise? Eat healthy food? Get enough sleep? The truth is simply that our brains have evolved to meet the needs of the ways our distant ancestors used to live long before we created this modern world. The contrast between the expectations of our prehistoric unconscious minds and the vastly different circumstances we now live in often creates a terrible dissonance inside of us. The daily desires that arise as we live in our modern world frequently compete with the learned long standing expectations of our neurological roots which control our happiness through our unconscious biology, particularly our hormones which shape the emotional lens with which we see our lives and wellbeing.

The neurological roots that form our unconscious minds have evolved over the last several hundred thousand years while recorded human history that we spend so much time learning in school only covers about ten thousand years–barely a fraction. Despite all the power of our conscious mind’s ability to control our actions, the unconscious mind guards near total control of our hormones which form our emotional states. The unconscious mind has its own expectations of us from what it has learned about survival in the prehistoric world it understands–one full of danger of predators, starvation, illness and injury that were frequently fatal. The single most effective strategy for human survival has always been to be around other people who all have mutual care for each other’s well being and will therefore protect and provide for one another. It is no surprise then that we are by far, the most happy when we are among friends sharing an experience together. The unconscious mind sees this as a sign of safety and floods us with serotonin. The reward for a spirit of cooperation for group survival also helps us understand why we usually feel more happy after helping people we care about than even when helping ourselves.

There are many actions that our unconscious minds are looking for from us. A few more obvious examples that have powerful positive effects shown in scientific experiments are getting some amount of significant sunlight exposure, time out in nature, and physical exertion–all of which historically correlate with finding sources of food and are readily rewarded with feel good serotonin and endorphins. Of course, as our neurology and lives have become more complicated, the reward system is not always clear and can even sometimes seem contradictory. 

Take the example of exercise. To our unconscious minds, simple exercise is a waste of valuable energy stores that should be saved in case we cannot find food this week. Therefore we have no reward for considering going to exercise which is why there is no inherent desire to pursue it even though it is one of the healthiest things we can ever do. However, once we begin exercising, we begin to feel better as the release of endorphins ramp up to reward our ongoing muscle movement. Why is that? It is because endorphins evolved as a method of rewarding long expenditures of energy which were generally used only in search for food, whether running down big game to exhaustion or even simple long walking treks to search for fruit to gather. 

As our understanding of our unconscious mind’s expectations becomes clearer, it is obvious if we want to be happy, we need to use strategies and routines that include regularly meeting a significant number of these expectations as a major consideration in how we plan our days and our lives. It’s also important to remember just as these problems did not arise overnight, they will not be solved quite so quickly either. When trying out new approaches it’s important to recognize that stumbling or falling shorts of our intended goal does not stop us from trying again later in the day and tomorrow and next week. Critically, we must remember also that one success builds on another and that practice increases our success. Over time a chain of successes will change our baseline mental state so that these efforts become habits and become normalized and more and more desirable as our unconscious mind begins to recognize and appreciate them. 

 If you want to try out some of these tactics yourself to give yourself the gift of a great day, you can easily pull a few of these together to do just that, but remember also that your mindset has a role to play also and to do what you can to try to keep it positive to avoid sabotaging your efforts. Start by getting a full night of sleep (around 8 hours) which the unconscious loves. Start your day by getting out for a walk of at least 5-10 minutes for some sunlight–bonus points if you can include natural greenery such as a nature trail, a city park, or just a nice street nearby with some trees. If you are working, try to do something kind for a colleague you like–a small compliment or gift of coffee or a treat, or a favor they will appreciate. Eat reasonably healthy food to keep your energy stable and not sabotage your day–a sandwich or salad or anything you like that does not make you feel bad after. Make plans to hang out with friends after work or exercise–bonus points if the exercise is fun like a sport or physical game, and enormous bonus points if you can combine this by playing with friends!

If this recipe for a good day does not work for you, it will likely be due to another reason that will be obvious to you. Maybe negative thinking about your job, a bad event during the day, or not good quality sleep. Many things can throw your day off, but that is normal and even to be expected! It’s not how well you do in a single day but rather the accumulation of multiple days, weeks, and months. Try again if that happens, it will take time for your mind and body to unlearn old habits and form new ones. You deserve to be happy, and your unconscious wants this for you too. We would love to connect with you and hear about your story and progress. 

Please feel free to reach out to us at team@greatlifestudio.co

Drew